Special shout out to “porkchop” for showing me around my first night in Pattaya.
Now let The Rear Admiral share his impressions, some good, some bad. I am a pretty decent veteran to the P4P scene, having hobbied a lot in the US, 2 trips to Brazil (Rio and SP), and Australia. I know this is a bit stream-of-consciousness-ish. And I know it probably sounds a bit whiny. And that I'm probably tackling some sacred cows here. But these are my honest impressions and just one man's opinion. So please don't get all fired up.
Accommodation:
1) Dynasty Inn, Pattaya– OK hotel, sort of 2-star but clean inside. I paid for a “superior” room with a king bed. Room was large, bed was hard, bathroom was clean. Bottom line: Good choice, see caveats below.
Pros:
a) Great location, one block from Soi 13/1 (with Stringfellows, Club 131, and some GG bars like Hot & Cold) as well as on the same street as decent outdoor bar Wonderful 2 and good UK pub The Sportsman (great breakfast, lunch, dinner).
b) 500 Baht to take their minibus up to Dynasty Inn Grande, BKK
c) One night I brought 2 girls upstairs and they did not charge me extra for the 2nd girl.
d) Helpful arranging/changing my booking at Dynasty Inn Grande, BKK
e) Responsive on email to original reservation
f) Nice electronic safe in room.
Cons:
a) Room faced right onto Soi 13 across to Wonderful 2, which pumps loud dance music until 2am – like having a party in my room, except I wanted to sleep Lesson learned. Ask for a room on the side away from the street. No more “YMCA” chants at 1.30am thanks.
b) Line of ants marching across my bathroom wall, from the shower, past the toilet, up to the sink. I know I should be grateful it was *just* ants, but seriously not cool. They sprayed Raid or some other killer when I told the desk, but they didn’t hit the entrance/exit points on the wall so the ants kept marching.
c) Made me pay in advance. Is this normal for Pattaya?
2) Dynasty Inn Grande, BKK – really nice hotel, sort of “Radisson” quality inside – 3-star with aspirations … rooms are large and clean and modern. Good location close to Soi 4 / Nana Entertainment Plaza (NEP) but just far enough to stay quiet at night (surrounded by other hotels/condos). Bottom line: Good choice. Wonder whether next-door Grand Sukhumvit by Sofitel is equally nice and priced right (girls said it was good with no extra charges for more than 1 lady).
Pros:
a) Good location – easy walk to NEP, Guess Bar, Eden Club, and even other Sukhumit-area businesses. Also easy to Skytrain Nana.
b) Minibar in room has surprisingly reasonable prices (e.g. 40 Baht for Singha)
g) Hotel restaurant has surprisingly reasonable prices and good food (e.g., 95 Baht for wok-fried rice noodles with beef/veggies).
h) Nice electronic safe in room.
Cons:
d) When I brought 2 girls back at once, they charged me an extra 500 Baht for the 2nd girl.
e) Pretty useless desk staff for getting directions or even a decent map.
f) Again, asked me to pay in advance. Also took a 500 Baht deposit for the minibar.
Airport Transport
Used taxi service by “Mr. Toom” as recommended on this board. Contact: toom39@msn.com
1200 Baht from BKK airport to Pattaya, including all tolls and parking fees. His driver met me outside arrivals with my name on a sign, easy to spot. Also the driver ended up waiting about an hour for me to get there (my flight was delayed) – so big props to him. This was the smoothest part of the trip. Would not hesitate to use again. Tipped him 300 baht I was so happy. Took about 1.5 hours from airport to Pattaya at 12.30am.
Note: I did contact other services, including Jan’s Taxi, but they are not currently operating.
Pattaya Impressions
Got into Pattaya late on Thursday night (really 2am Friday morning). Friday was my first full day. It was freaking hot, like 85-90 F and stinky humid. Got a sunburn just walking around for an hour in the AM to change money, hit market, etc. Bought a 2nd-hand phone for 1500 baht from a phone vendor in the complex above Topps market. Ironically then never used it the whole trip.
My overall impressions of Pattaya are not good. I am comparing it to other “beach cities” in the P4P scene like Rio. In Rio, the ocean does not smell like sewage, you are not besieged by shop-owners trying to sell you crap every 3 feet (“Dude, it’s 90 degrees, I’m sweating through my Hawaiian shirt, and somehow you think I want to buy a fucking suit from you, motherfucker???”), and the streets are not as crowded with stinky-aroma street vendors (I’m afraid to ask what they’re grilling, but the smell makes me wanna hurl). Also in Rio you do not, for the most part, having the appalling-aroma open sewers I saw in Pattaya. Basically, Pattaya’s ocean smells like crap when your on the Beach Road, and then on 2nd road, you get all the crap smells from the open sewers.
Also in Rio, you do not see the sheer mass of obvious P4P-ers walking around – Pattaya seems full of 50 year old, fat, tattooed, expat British guys walking around, frequently with young Thai women in tow and sometimes their kids. Just makes me feel that much more guilty about what I’m up to. Somehow P4P in Brazil seems more upscale (termas) and discreet, and when you are not P4P-ing, you can just be “normal” walking around the city. There are not throngs of girls sitting at Ipanema cafes shouting “guapo” at you as you walk by, nor are there tailors trying to shake your hand and sell you crap. Not so in Pattaya.
On the flip side, I guess, you stand a much much higher chance of getting robbed / beaten / shot in Rio. If you walk along the beach in Rio, you’ll get jacked. If you walk along the beach in Pattaya, you’ll just hurl from the stinky-water aroma. But you’ll be safe. Still, Pattaya felt sleazy and dirty to me by comparison. In fact, I was so sort of bummed out by the environment and vibe that I decided to cut my trip short by 3 days. I know some folks will say they like the “beach” vibe of Pattaya – but in terms of non-P4P cities, I just spent 6 years living in Southern California, and every beach I was near was 1000 times nicer than Pattaya.
Pattaya P4P
First night out, with porkchop leading the way, we visited Club 131, Stringfellows, Triple X, and a GG go-go on walking street. I short-timed a lb at Stringfellows, largely because I wanted to get one out of the way and see what the short time rooms were like. The short-time room at Stringfellows (all the way up top, like 3 flights of stairs up) was really quite disgusting – the “shower” was a hose stuck into one of those on-the-wall-heaters, plus a big rubber trash can full of cold water with a scoop. I almost hit “eject” after getting into the room. It made Terma rooms in Rio look like a Peninsula Hotel suite. Someone said Stringfellows has the nicest short-time rooms in Pattaya – that if that’s true, I’m scared. If I were the owner (hi Bob), I’d pay the USD $1000 or whatever and actually fix up the room/bathroom so they were nice. But what do I know? Anyway, the lb in question (Naan?) looked good in the bar but once in the room was less cute – typical problem, I’d guess. Unshaven down below, and also unshaven underarms. OK in the sack. 1000 Baht all in, I think.
Went afterwards to check out Triple X but it was kind of quiet with only a few girls working. So I walked back to Club 131 (around 11pm) and ended up chatting with Franck. Franck is actually exceptionally cool, and was more than willing to spend time talking. He recommended Moo, who is now working there after her “drama.” I was concerned about her “drama” but figured Franck wouldn’t steer me wrong. Moo was just sort of OK. She’s surprisingly shy, and while her body is still hot, her short hair makes her look a bit too boyish. In addition, she had a cold/flu – which I think I picked up from her ; I don’t mind her working while she’s sick (actually, I do mind, but I understand why she’s doing it) – but at least she could have not kissed me before telling me she has the flu. Total I think was 300 Baht barfine plus 1600 for Moo. She doesn’t speak particularly good English, which made it tough.
2nd day – Breakfast at the Sportsman pub (where my good chicken curry was 230 baht, and the imported Bulmer’s hard cider was 240 – LOL), followed by a good oil massage just around the corner (on 2nd Road, to the right) from the Dynasty. That night, returned to Stringfellows first and then Club 131. LB’s at stringfellows were more pushy that night and I didn’t really see any I fancied (though there was one tall, short-hair blonde girl with nice bolt-ons and big unit – I couldn’t tell if her hair was real or a wig, so I left). At 131 it was more mellow. I was only 1 of 2 customers there. Bought a few girls a drink, chatted with Franck, and then tried to decide between Pond and Alis. Pond was wearing her Tiffany show gown (she’s a dancer in the show) and looked smoking hot – she also was all over me. Alis was more shy and restrained. Went upstairs to the sofa area with both of them to try to choose, and then decided just to bring both back to the hotel. Had a very fun few hours with them both. 600 total barfine and 2000 Baht each to the ladies. Some minor lb-on-lb action (Pond sat on Alis), mainly both of them on me. Pond actually speaks OK English, whereas Alis speaks very little and is more shy (but has an enormous unit). Pond wins the prize for being the horniest lb I ever met – I think she came 4x-5x during our interlude.
Bangkok (BKK) Impressions
After the shithole beach that was Pattaya, BKK actually is a bit nicer. Sure it’s a big crazy city crammed with motorbikes, cars, people, etc. But at least the stench of raw sewage was slightly less. Yeah, I did see one giant open sewage canal that nearly made me hurl. And yes, you still get the delightful smell of human excrement wafting from various corners as you walk down the street. And yes, there are still morons trying to sell you shit as you walk along – but, thankfully, fewer tailors trying to sell you suits and calling you “boss.” But it felt a bit more “civilized” to me than Pattaya. Certainly less completely obvious P4P farangs walking around. More business, more commerce. That said, the number of street vendors seems about the same – that aroma of grilled whatever is just nasty.
NEP impressions: The area in front of NEP is a bit of a gauntlet – people, vendors, touts, etc. I found walking into NEP with a determined stride helped – if you pause, you are dead. Easy enough to step into Obsessions. I didn’t go upstairs at NEP or really check out any of the other places. I did see the fabled elephant in the courtyard – on the way out. There is someone who brings a baby (small) Asian elephant and lets people pet it / take photos / etc. presumably for $$. It just made me sad. The poor elephant is probably freaking out being surrounded by so much noise and so many people. I can’t believe the cops let it happen but I’m sure they get their cut. It’s just sad. I’d say in general my impressions of the P4P scene left me feeling sad. Somehow in Rio, with the termas, P4P feels much more “upscale” / “professional” whereas in BKK and Pattaya it just feels more sleazy / sad to me. The Eden Club being the one exception (see below).
BKK P4P
3rd day – Rode Dynasty’s shuttle up to BKK. Took about 2.5 hours. Headed out to Guess bar that night (Sunday) around 8pm. Guess is a few blocks past NEP. Got there to find maybe 5-6 girls lounging around on the sofas, reading magazines, smoking. Also the gay-boy mamasan was there. I was the only customer. Didn’t really fancy any of the girls. None of them spoke even decent broken English. An Aussie bloke came in and sat at the bar, so I talked to him a little. He basically said he thought Guess was oversold / overhyped on this board and others. I’d have to agree. Maybe I caught it on a bad night but it was pretty quiet and the selection of lb’s was lame. He suggested I run the gauntlet at NEP starting with Obsessions. So I walked back to NEP. Went into Obsessions – man, you step through that curtain and it’s a madhouse – tons (50?) of lbs in bikinis (with ID #s on them) sitting on the benches, dancing on the rotating stage, etc. You have to forcefully dodge the ones that try to latch onto you right away, or that come sit with you right away. I shoo’d them off and ended up trying to get one of the waitresses to help me pick a girl who spoke good English. I had to turn down a hot short-hair blonde with nice bolt-ons because she didn’t speak much English. I ended up with a dark-hair lb calling herself “Cartoon” who spoke pretty good English. 600 Baht bar fine, plus some high drink charges (e.g., 90 baht for water), and I think 2000 for Cartoon for short-time (3 hours). Took her back to the hotel. She was fun and good attitude and came 2x.
4th day – Hit the Eden Club at 1.15pm. It may not be germane for this forum, but Eden Club is arguably the most Terma-like place in BKK. It’s on Soi 7/1 (near Nana Skytrain), run by a French expat (eden.bruce@yahoo.com). When you walk into the bar, the girls line up – there are about 30 working. Ones to the left of the yellow line painted on the wall do anal, ones to the right don’t. You pick one girl, she takes a friend, and you go up to a nice terma-style room for some 2 v. 1 action. 3600 baht all-in, for 90 mins and guaranteed 2 pops. The girls are “kinky” by BKK standards – they use toys on each other and on you (if you like). I only mention this in the context that lb lovers here might also like girls who will use toys on them. I had a great time. On my way out, Bruce gave me a free water. Props to him, as I just dropped 3600 baht.
After Eden, walked down Sukhumvit (about 10 mins) to Soi 19 (just past the Topps market and the Westin). Was looking for “Friend’s Massage” which had been mentioned on one of the forums. (www.friendsmassage.com). Apparently they will do extras but I settled for a 1hr foot massage that was great – 250 baht.
That night, returned to Obsessions and again ran the gauntlet to sit on my own. Ended up taking 2 lb’s – “Monica” a dark-haired one with solid bolt-ons, and also “Odette” a darker-skinned (almost ½ African appearance) with smaller tits. 2000 for each girl for ST, plus the barfines (600 each). A good time was had. They had good attitudes and spoke OK English. No real lb-on-lb action though. They said they weren’t into other lbs. This made sense to me. Besides, back in Pattaya, Pond had said she was rare in that she actually *was* into other lb’s.
I never made it to any of the other lb bars in NEP, nor did I return to Guess a 2nd time.
5th day – Hit Friends massage for a 2 hour foot-and-body massage. Then hit Eden Club again around 1.30pm. Another good 2girl session, with one of the same girls from day before (“Waa”), who really knows her way around a strap-on. Hung out at the bar for about 15 minutes afterwards. The bar girl actually charged me for a bottle of water, as well as a glass of coca-cola. Which kind of pissed me off. Granted, they need to make $$, I understand that. But if you just spent 3600 baht there, and tipped the girls each 200-300 baht, it would be nice to at least not be charged 70 baht for the glass of coke they pour you from a 2 ltr. Bottle.
From DIG, took a taxi at 3.30pm back to the airport – drive time was about 50 minutes (driver said it would be an hour) using the skyway/freeway. This has to be the dumbest airport layout I’ve seen in a while. They make you drive literally all the way around the airport to get to the departure section. Crazy. Then once you are inside, you go through passport control into the airport – it’s full of shops, stores, restaurants etc. They don’t put the security check until just before each gate section – and once you go through security, there are NO shops/stores. So you can’t buy any drinks to bring on your flight (no liquids allowed through security for US / Aussie flights). Lame.
Joined: 08 Jun 2005
Posts: 3997
Location: Australia
Hi The Rear Admiral,
Thanks for taking the time to post such a detailed and "informative" report.
Some really excellent information for others travelling to Thailand to consider.
Interesting to read your comments about Pattaya. I certainly can appreciate what you mean even if I don't feel the same way.
A few random remarks in response to your post;
1. I'm probably slightly biased when it comes to evaluating Guess Bar, although perhaps is was an "off" night ?
2. I've never been asked to pay in advance at either of the Dynasty hotels, however they do generally take an impression of your credit card when you check in.
3. As for the Grand Sofitel, it is significantly more expensive than the Dynasty Inn Grande.
4. With reference to Taxi services, I did use Jan's Taxi in April, and she was already advancing in her pregnancy, so presumably she is off duty for a while.
Again, thanks the particularly detailed account of your trip.
Joined: 28 Jun 2005
Posts: 1726
Points: 0
Location: England.
Very interesting read RA and whilst you only scratched the ''dirty'' surface of what Pattaya has to offer your observations are indeed valid ones.
However, there are some quite lovely beaches in Sin City with clean swimming water, a five minute bike ride away in either direction.
You keep making comparisons with Rio but forgot to mention the vast difference in cost between the two resorts although you did quite rightly point out that the Brazilian city is a much more dangerous place.
Thank God you never made it to Hi-Boss because compared to that place the Stringfellows ST rooms are luxurious
Yes, I tend to partly agree with what you say about Guess Bar because IMO that place only really kicks into gear when there is an enthusiastic group of guys in attendance socialising with each other to create an atmosphere which naturally stimulates the Ladyboys into attracting your attention. All too often when I go there alone it is dullsville with one or two shy blokes hiding in the corners with their chosen LB, but with the right company I love it in there.
Thanks for you report which is well appreciated although I might have a different opinion. The pattaya atmosphere is not everybody's cup of tea, like I can't imagine myself having fun in Rio or anywhere self like LOS.
For me (maybe others) its the whole "culture/approach to life" about LOS with all its imperfections that I like (weird I know, sorry) .
Without weirdos trying to sell you random stuff (which I find funny), without girls/lbs shoutin at you in the street or the occasional "tryin to ripp me off" (which it never happens to me cos I agreed how much shit cost before I part-take), I don't think I will like LOS
Anyway thanks again for you report and in particular the way you stated the pros and cons about the various places .
I love Thailand to death, and visit 4 times a year, but find Pattaya as the Rear Admiral found it - dirty and uninviting.
I like my girls all in one place like Nana and dont have the patience of Pat tire or Koykaeng to find gems in off the beaten track bars.
Joined: 03 Mar 2005
Posts: 145
Points: 21
Location: Manchester UK
Great report Rear Admiral
I stayed at both them Dynasty's hotels too during my trip and found them both good
I too have a preference for BKK than Pattaya, I just feel more comfortable there and in my opinion the choice and dare I say it "quality" is far better than that of Pattaya
I made several trips from my base in Pattaya to BKK during my trip
The Guess Bar is a nice place to relax or take your chosen lb if your a bit "shy"
As the bar opens at 15-00pm you may have found that most of the girls had been b/fined and gone before 8pm so if you want the real "lookers" you gotta get there early and believe me most of the girls there are great "lookers"
It does get busier when there are BM's meeting up there as was said, and I actually made a 1 night trip to BKK for the aussie guy you referred too because it was his birthday
The Guess bar is no different from the lb bars I found in Pattaya for being quiet, maybe its the "low season"
The Cartoon you refer maybe the one I know, her number is No39 and she is a very cool and smart girl indeed (see pic)
Had a bit of a hard time explaining to my girl Am ( her English is limited) after buying Cartoon a drink that I knew her from msn and had chatted to her for quite a while
Of course Am thought I was trading her in for Cartoon because I had bought her a drink
There is a lot of choice in Nana Plaza for ladyboys and freelancers on Sukhumvit and especially outside the Nana Hotel at 01-00am when the bars close when all the girls gather there seeking punters
You can also find a lot of ladyboys in the Patpong area of BKK and numerous "post-op girls" too
Bangkok is certainly a ladyboy heaven
Last edited by duke007 on Fri Jun 01, 2007 4:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
Joined: 03 Mar 2005
Posts: 145
Points: 21
Location: Manchester UK
The "slutty and very horny" Jenny, she is the always the first girl I hook up with on my trips to the "land of smiles"
A body too "die for" and with her big cock she will give you a good "rogering" too
Last edited by duke007 on Fri Jun 01, 2007 4:54 pm; edited 2 times in total
Awesome pic SIR duke007 , haven checkout guess bar as yet because last time I was there it was not open yet (early last year) but I plan on checkin it out def on my next trip in 1 week time
Good report T.R.A. I agree with a few of your points. I have never even been able to put my toe in the water in Pattaya beach. And the fuckers selling suits can really piss me off after a couple of weeks. Especially as the quality is so shit! Ive never done a short time in a bars room so i dont know. But ive seen a few and i wouldnt do it. Back to my hotel or their room is all id do.
But ive been to Rio too. Ive never paid for sex in Brazil but i did visit the HELP disco along the Copa. Must have been about 200 hookers in the place. I thought very seedy. And the strip clubs with live sex shows are quite dirty too. But its easier to find chics to fuck that arent hookers.
I think you were a bit negitive in your report but thats your opinion. But in saying that the first time i went to Pattaya i didnt really like it. Now i think its the bomb. I hope you'll give it another chance in the future.
I found Pattaya to be super. nice hotels that were super value, lots of sunshine, relaxing layed back atmosphere, great selecton of good places to eat and a warm friendly people. Few miles around the coast
and there are so many beautiful beaches. Hassle free and very polite people everywhere with great sence of fun and humour.
Loved my trips to Pattaya , loved the people.
Went to many places where I was the only ferang, always made welcome, always enjoyed.
Great report Admiral. Living in California I can under your feelings of the beach front area in comparsion you mentioned in your report. So when I'm there in November I'll have a good idea and will report . Any recommendations on where to hang in Brazil??
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Lesson learned. Ask for a room on the side away from the street. No more “YMCA” chants at 1.30am thanks.
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