just another joke..... ~ LB-69

a man walks in a ladyboybar in pattaya....at the bar one stunning LB is standing.....the man open his back....and takes out an BIG froog....the ladyboy stares at the froog and ask the man whats this about....the man looks at the ladyboy...and replies...well i will bet you 2 beers...that this froog can gives you the most wonderfull blowjob you ever had in your life....

the ladyboy looks for a while...then accept the bet....the man looks at the froog...then pointing at the ladyboy....and command the froog to start giving her a blowjob.....nothing happens.....he tries one more time.....the froog just sits there.....

then he looks angry at the froog and say.....

okay...ill show you again for the last time..... Cool

Paddy walks past a new bar & see's a sign in the window,
"Pies 50baht, Wanks 10baht,"
He couldnt belive his luck.
He goes in & see's a stunning blonde barmaid and ask's
" Are you the one that gives the Wanks ? "
Yes she replies.
" Well" he says, wash yer fucking hands, i want a pie Laughing

Three women: one dating, one married, and one engaged, are chatting
about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night
all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over
their eyes.

After a few days they meet again.....

The engaged woman said: 'The other night, when my fiancé came back
hme, he found me in the leather bodice, 4' stilettos and mask. He said,
'You are the woman of my life, I love you...then we made love all night
long.'

The girlfriend stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met. I was wearing
The leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat.
When I opened the raincoat, he didn' say a word. We just had wild sex
all night.'

The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at
My mothers for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super
Stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed
The TV controller and a beer, and said, 'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?'

Hey pink panther, i was in tesco's earlier on today, and i thought i saw your name on a loaf of bread Question

But when i looked again, it actually said 'thick cut' Very Happy

A jewish girls calls her mother, Mum im getting a divorce

'A Divorce' WHY 'the mother asks shocked'

Mum all he wants is anal sex.
I used to have a lovely little arsehole the size of a 5p piece,
Now its the size of a 50p piece.

The mother says, sweetie, you have a lovely home, a nice porsche, platinum credit card, and you have 4 foreign holidays a year.
And you want to give all that up for the sake of 45p Question

new drug now available in Australia, half viagra, half prozac, so if you dont get a fuck you dont give a fuck.

A blind man interviews for a job as a quality controller at the local wood mill. The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him how he expected to do this job since he was blind. The blind man replied he would do it by smell. The manager decides to test him and places a piece of wood in front of him. The manager asks, "What is it without touching it?" The blind man replies, "That’s a good piece of fir." "Correct,” says the manager, “now try this one." "That’s a bad piece of willow," says the blind man. "Correct," answers the manager.
With that, the manager decides to play a trick on the blind man. He get his secretary to lift up her dress and put her crotch in the blind mans face. "I'm confused,” says the blind man, “Can you turn it around?" The secretary turns around and puts her ass in his face. The blind man says, "Oh, you’re trying to fool me! But I know exactly what kind of wood that is. It’s the shit house door off a tuna boat!"

this riddle must have been made for Anthony.... Laughing

Q. What is the difference between a farang woman and a walrus?

A. One has a bloated slimy body with facial whiskers and smells of fish.

The other lives in the sea.

Flying Blind

On a busy Friday afternoon, while the passengers are patiently waiting for their flight to begin, two men dressed in Pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle.? Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke but none is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the end of the runway. As it begins to look as though the plane will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.

At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands. In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "You know, John, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath.

A young nun, Sister Magdalene, prepared the bath water and towels as instructed by one of the older nuns.

Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at father John's nakedness if she could help it and to do whatever he told her to do.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.

"Oh, Sister," said the young nun dreamily. "I've been saved."

"Saved? And how did this fine thing come about?" asked the old nun.

"Well, when father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him, he guided my hand between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven."

"Did he now?" said the old nun.

Sister Magdalene continued, "And father John said that if the Key to Heaven fits my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured of Salvation and eternal peace. And then father John guided his Key to Heaven into my Lock."

"Is that a fact?" said the old nun.

"At first it hurt terribly, but father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did, it felt so good being saved."

"That wicked old Devil," said the old nun. "He told me it was Gabriel's Horn and I've been blowing it for 40 years!"